When a woman notices a guy she's interested in she'll often unconsciously fix her hair, grab a glance at herself in the mirror, or fix her clothes in some other way. When you woke up this morning didn't it take you a little while to get your engine going? It usually takes me about 15 minutes or so to get the cobwebs out of my brain when I wake up.
I get up, take a leak, stretch a little bit, grab a drink of water, look outside to see what the weather is like and eventually I'm my normal self. Talking to women works the same way.
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Even the most outgoing guys don't start out that way. You have to crawl before you walk, right? You can't be a wallflower all night and then when you see the girl you got the hots for, go up and approach her and expect things to go great. So here's what you do The next time you're going to be at a venue where there are women you might be interested in, before you even consider talking to them or even looking in their direction, I want you to start off by talking to some of the other people around you.
Start off real slow if you want.
Top 6 Dating tips for Shy Gay Guys
If you're out at a public place like a restaurant, bar, club or lounge why not ask a question to one of the staff there, share a laugh and have a little 30 second conversation? When I go out I always befriend the waiters, waitresses, bartenders, bouncers. Then I talk to some of the other people standing around me, fat chicks, whoever.
Then when I do see a hot girl I'm interested in, I'm nice and warm and I feel like I'm surrounded by friends so talking to her, no matter how hot she, is isn't a big deal. A lot of guys approach a woman with the goal in mind of getting her phone number, or getting a date with her, or making her their next girlfriend. They see how pretty she is and all sorts of things like this go through their heads and they inevitably psyche themselves out.
They become way too outcome dependent. And worst of all, by doing this, they appear too needy to the women and the game is over before it even begins.
So here's what you do instead: When you are first starting out trying to build you skills with women you should have only one goal in mind when you talk to a woman: To get better with women. Your primary outcome should be to build your skills. If this particular woman gets away who cares as long as you gain a little experience out of the interaction. When you shift your thinking by changing the outcome that you're looking for women will be able to pick up on it.
You won't appear needy and you'll inevitably start to become more attractive. You'll also be a lot more willing to talk to women because you're setting up a game you can win. Most guys make a woman's response to them mean something about them personally. A woman acts bitchy or cold to them and they make it mean something about them as a man. I want you to know this When a woman "rejects" you, it actually has nothing to do with you.
Shy Guys have more sex.
It wasn't YOU she rejected It was just you're approach. You used the wrong particular approach. How could it be she doesn't know you from a hole in the wall, right?
So be grateful for her feedback whether positive or negative and never take it personal. Overall, the club and bar scene can be pretty intimidating to pick up women. Women go out to these places, and because they're getting hit on all night and because their friends are around they're ten times more likely to reject a guy who tries to approach them. Going to these places to meet women is playing a game with the deck stacked against you. So then what's the answer? Well, over the last few years i've had some pretty amazing success with meeting woman after woman on MySpace and Facebook.
I live in NY City where there are some of the hottest clubs, bars and lounges in the world. I've picked up women at the mall, the beach, walking down the street, the subway, the gym, and just about everywhere you can think of and I can honestly say this If you know what you're doing There's a few reasons for this: Because her friends aren't around watching her, other guys aren't hitting her and she's in the comfort of her own home she's SO much more receptive to you if you say the right thing to her.
But here's the thing I really love about MySpace and Facebook Not only are there millions of young, single women on these sites And not only can you quickly shoot out ten or fifteen messages to a bunch of these hot women in just a matter of minutes but There is absolutely ZERO chance of ever encountering a face-to-face rejection. This means that a shy guy can build his skills with women in a totally risk-free arena.
MySpace and Facebook can be your own personal "Flight Simulator" to build your skills with women. A guy can get really good, really quickly learning how to start conversations, flirt back and forth, build attraction, get phone numbers and set up "dates" because he doesn't have to worry about her friends, his friends, or the intimidation he might feel if he went to approach her in person. Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.
Nice and informative piece Tony but the chapter about reading signal! Jeez man, It would be easier reading heiroglyphics. I have never been able to read signals from women apart from the obvious "get lost " ones lol. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages and Hubbers authors may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
You might rate low but not on the bottom.
You can rock a Bruce Willis, not Jenner shave and tear the house down We have just the girl for you. But the point is My point is, become the person that other people know or want to be friends with. It is easier when you have people coming to you.
5 Empowering Dating Tips For Shy Guys | PairedLife
Hi I'm 31 male. Shy in talking to girls. Never had much interactions. Online dating is shit.
What can I do to have a gf? See question The following tips from guyQ users will help you overcome your shyness and live a fulfilling dating life. I would give "speed dating" a chance. Even if it doesn't work out it allows you to develope confidence around women and you'll find it very easy to introduce yourself and break the ice which I find to be the most difficult thing around women.
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Are you shy about talking to your mother? Are you shy about talking to an old woman at a check out counter? Are you shy about talking to, say, a nurse, a female buss driver etc? Find activities where interaction with them is necessary.